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The Nazi occupation of Europe was a huge undertaking covering a huge territory. It would be years if, and when, they achieved total domination. Not unlike the Teutonic army, men would be away from home a very long time; away from wives and girlfriends, if they made it back home at all. Many of those young Teutonic soldiers may not have even had a girlfriend or experienced heterosexual sex.I was a good example. Fourteen years old and had never kissed a girl. However, I was shown how to kiss another man. Obviously, I had never had sex with a girl, but I was taught how to pleasure a man sexually and enjoy his pleasure in return. It was all I knew about sex and I learned to adapt to it as a way of life, really a way of survival, at the time. Had circumstances never exposed me to homosexuality; if my comfortable life at home had gone on uninterrupted; I doubt very much I would ever have been subjected to it. I would have continued to think about the mysteries of girls and hetero sex and. With the benefit of this cheap hindsight I came to know that our decline was inevitable, and had probably started the night that seedy club manager had tried to use Paul’s talent to gain access to my body. But during the period of decay itself, as things went from bad to worse between us, I was not able to see things quite so clearly. All I knew was that for some inexplicable reason, Paul had turned away from me. I think I would have been able to understand and handle it better had he turned argumentative, or irritable, or even vicious and violent. The coin of strong emotions has two sides, after all, and one expects a great love to breed great antagonisms as a sort of natural fallout. Instead, Paul simply withdrew. He grew morose and uncommunicative, and took to spending long periods away from our apartment. Although it was difficult for me to see him physically disappear in this way, it was even more tormenting to have him present in the house in body only, while the essence of.
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